Stuck in the system.

Get up. Go to work. Get home. Do nothing. Go to bed. Repeating over and over. Bored. Stuck in the same cycle constantly, a groundhog day waiting to be escaped from.

Get up. Go to work. Get home. Do nothing. Go to bed. Waiting for something new. Waiting for change. Waiting to leave.

Get up. Go to work. Get home. Do nothing. Go to bed. Just need to break the cycle, crash the system, disrupt the repetition. Anything?

Just one moment; one pure impulsive action leading on to a whole different day.

Get up. Call in sick. Opportunity! See mates, get stoned, do something new, see something new, see something old, do something you’ve always wanted to do, do something you’ve never wanted to do, take a leap of faith, take a risk, be that risk, crash the system, be impulsive. Open your eyes and stop looking. Open your eyes and start seeing. Opportunity is waiting, but why are you?

Get up. Go to work. Get home. Do nothing. Go to bed. Back in the system. Same as before. Has anything changed? Was it worth anything?

……FUCK YES!

Inspiration abandons me now. Mind goes blank. No ground breaking revelations. Nothing motivating. Nothing to be treasured. Just me and my thoughts. Well, it’s a start.

At times these blogs are going to be dull, meaningless, and perhaps boring. People may read them and think ‘I’ve just waisted a few minutes of my life on this rubbish’, and to an extent they may be right. To many people every word will be the worthless ambling of a boy stuck in another limbo of life; pondering responsibility, individuality, independence and expression. But to me…,to me these thoughts are invaluable. These thoughts may not be read for days, weeks, months, years because I still haven’t built up the courage to expose myself. This paranoia that’s developed throughout society, that everybody we let in will shoot us down, has infected me totally and completely, tainting me with a fear of such emotion and trust. A fear that in turn has manifested itself, so that the only way I know to unleash it is to put on a charade of a fearless anger that knows no restraint.

‘Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down’.

I understand this totally, it makes perfect sense. But I also understood it several months ago when i first read it, so why am I still building walls?